Kissing Cousins
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Modern AU. Astrid dreads the full family get togethers, a sea of grandmothers who want to ask her where her love life is at. When she catches sight of her cousin, he's the perfect distraction. Hiccstrid


**Unsure if there's much point uploading one, I don't remember it being especially popular but hey, why not.**

 **Kissing cousins! Aka Hiccup and Astrid are cousins.**

-HTTYD-

Astrid drew in a deep sigh, cut the engine on her car and prepared to be besieged by people everywhere demanding to know the exact state of her work life, love life, friendships and probably her socks. The family was nosy.

She scanned the gravelly driveway of grandpa Old Wrinkly's family ranch, full of heavy trucks and sleek cars, depending whether it was the Haddock or Hofferson sides. Her beat up old car stuck out nicely, but she loved the thing dearly. Out of the corner of her eye, a distinctive black motorcycle with green-tinted headlights and a red stripe along one side was visible.

Hiccup was there. _Excellent._

She immediately sought out her favourite cousin, searching for a narrow waist in riding trousers but was instead waylaid by... _someone's_ grandmother. Not hers. The not-her-grandma plucked at Astrid's thin shirt, frowned at her shoes and flicked her fringe off her face.

"You'll never land a husband looking like this!"

"Well... I'll live. I need a drink."

Astrid slipped away, accepting she couldn't spot the skinniest of her cousins amongst several broad, bearded mountains of aunts and uncles all about a foot taller than her. She headed for the refreshments table, groaning under mounds of sausage rolls and cold meat sandwiches. Astrid ignored the cold stuff - she'd get cooked meat when the barbecue was ready - and piled a paper plate with cupcakes and biscuits, then took a hearty swallow of beer.

She was not drunk enough for family reunions. There wasn't enough alcohol in the world. A hand snaked under her arm, plucking an iced biscuit from her plate and as she turned around to tear a limb from the offender, Astrid found herself faced with a smirking face.

"Afternoon milady."

Hiccup popped the stolen treat in his mouth, smirking as Astrid attempted to glare. He had new leathers, Astrid noticed. They hugged his lean hips, highlighted the solid muscles of his slim legs. His t-shirt was a snug fit too, big green dragon eyes splashed across a black scale pattern that ended at his bicep. Astrid watched as the muscle tensed when Hiccup lifted a hand to wipe his mouth.

"Fancy seeing you here."

His eyes gave her the once over, fixing on the cleavage visible through her open top buttons for just a little longer than was appropriate.

"Yeah. Me. Your cousin. At a family reunion. Mystery, that."

Hiccup grinned, winked and slipped away into the crowd of hefty bodies everywhere. Astrid ignored the flicker of butterflies from his wink, turning back to find another meddling old woman. Seriously, where did they all come from? Astrid would leave the party in a few hours missing childhood memories because of her head being crammed full of 'good wife' advice and Odin only knew what other nonsense.

"You'll never attract a man with those manners!"

"Men don't like all this muscle on girls."

Astrid drank her beer and ignored them, searching desperately for someone she wouldn't want to murder after two minutes conversation. It was slim pickings since Hiccup abandoned her after stealing her food.

Venturing through the packed house to the only-slightly-less-crammed garden, Astrid spotted whete said abandoner had gone - he was manning the barbeque. Astrid almost salivated at the thought of his steaks and hotdogs. Hiccup spotted her looking, gesturing with his head for her to come over. The smell of cooking meat beckoned her closer anyway, and Hiccup was quick to ask what Astrid wanted.

"Playing favourites?"

"Only for you. Steak or sausages?"

He knew Astrid didn't like burgers as much, remembered even though they only saw each other a couple of times a year.

"Steak."

"A girl who likes her meat. One steak coming up."

Hiccup even knew exactly how cooked she liked it, just about done through before it was dropped onto a plate. Astrid took it, seeing others had spotted the meat was ready and tossing Hiccup a wink.

"Come find me later, the hordes are coming."

"You know I will."

Astrid perched on a seat a little out of the way, avoiding many of the more annoying relatives to eat her steak and eye Hiccup from a distance. He was patient with the demanding patrons wanting food, smiling and laughing and dispensing satisfying meals left, right and centre. Eventually the crowd thinned and he let uncle Gobber take over the maintenance so he coulf eat himself, dropping next to Astrid with two hefty cheeseburgers barely fitting on his plate and napkins hanging from his pocket.

"So, I can play irritating distant relative and pester you about your life, or I can simply enquire about your single or taken status before suggesting we relocate when I've eaten."

Hiccup didn't waste time, grinning even as his cheeks were stuffed with food. Astrid wiped her mouth and hands functionally, taking a sip of her drink to make him wait a little longer.

"Where do you suggest?"

"Not fussy. We can try and escape upstairs if you're set on a bed, but I'm leaning toward us going for a walk that way" he pointed to the expanse of land " and not coming back until I run out of condoms."

Astrid saw him smirk before he bit into his second burger, eyes hot on hers until he realised sauce was running down his hand.

"Big talk Haddock."

Hiccup swallowed, licking melted cheese off his hand.

"Well Hofferson, it's only a six pack. I didn't want to be presumptive."

"You think we could get away for that long around this lot? Unlikely."

Hiccup heaved a great sigh as though she was imparting terrible news.

"True. Best of three?"

Astrid smirked, nodding. Hiccup hastened to finish eating, licking food from his teeth before grabbing his water bottle and standing up.

"Hey Spite" the uncle nearest turned around "me and Astrid are going for a walk to help digest, so don't let anyone accuse us of skipping out early."

Spite nodded with a gruff grunt, then turned back to his huge serving of meat and beer while Astrid stood up alongside Hiccup, brushing a few crumbs off herself and following her cousin. Various animals bleated or barked or neighed, and Hiccup leant to check every pen and paddock had sufficient food and water. They stopped to feed a few sheep, and Hiccup poured a bucket of water from the nearby workhouse tap into the pigs water trough.

She quite liked how he was around animals; relaxed, at ease. His mother was a big animal lover too. Aunt Valka was good fun, though sadly absent from the reunion on account of caring for her friend who had just had surgery. Else Astrid would have gone to her for stimulating conversation that wasn't judging her life while Hiccup was busy.

Astrid reckoned Valka probably knew that Hiccup and she were... doing things most people felt cousins shouldn't. It wasn't serious, but Hel it was addictive and Astrid indulged the fiery desire between she and her cousin at every reunion. They lived opposite ends of the country, so the parties were the only times they saw each other.

"Reckon we're far enough?"

Hiccup took a look around, then shrugged with a playful smirk on his face.

"Only if you're planning on being quiet. I was thinking just over there, so we don't scare the animals."

He pointed to the small hill they could probably roll around behind; last time they had used one of the work sheds, the time before that they managed to both get upstairs undetected.

"You're lucky I like a long walk."

Hiccup winked, both climbing up and over the little hill, peering around to check they were completely out of anyone's line of sight before Hiccup dropped his jacket to the ground, using it to keep dry grass and gravel off his skin when he sat down. Astrid wasted no time in straddling his lap, attacking his mouth and inhaling the smoky scent he carried from earlier.

His hands tugged her shirt open, barely maintaining the presence of mind not to tear the buttons in his eagerness until the front of her torso was bare save for the powder-blue bra she had on. Hiccup groaned at the sight of her bare skin, stroking the muscles of her stomach (that didn't put him off at all, take _that_ grumpy aunt Agatha) and dragging his nails across the sensitive dip of her waist.

"Condom?"

Hiccup raised an eyebrow, chest heaving with ragged breaths as they broke apart from heated kissing.

"Already?"

"You say that like we don't both know this is gonna happen and anticipate in advance."

His mouth quirked up, smirking as he reached beneath Astrid's studded skirt to find her already wet, underwear slick with her need for him before he ran work-worn fingers across the fabric covering her clit.

"Get your underwear off, I need to get the box out of my jacket."

Astrid regretfully stood, wriggling out of her briefs and stuffing them in her pocket to avoid losing them in the grass. Hiccup was quick to get the condom box from his jacket, and Astrid was only too happy to help him shimmy his leather trousers and boxers down, covering his gorgeously swollen cock with the latex with practiced hands.

She mounted him eagerly, sinking down Hiccup's erection with a satisfied moan and relishing the stretch as he filled her. Hiccup gripped her hip with one hand, tugging her bra down to grope a breast with the other and groaned against her lips when she kissed him roughly.

They'd been fooling around for the better part of six years now; drunken, guilty kisses at fifteen when they were first allowed more than two beers becoming awkward, bumbling sex the next year. They never implicitly discussed it; Astrid knew as much as Hiccup did that their family would be horrified.

It just didn't seem to matter when Hiccup had learnt to fuck her so damn well, when his cock fit her so perfectly. His motorcycle hobby became a potent lust-inducer for Astrid when she saw him in tight leather. Her active lifestyle became Hiccups appreciation for her muscled, toned physique. They weren't cousins when they fucked; they were more like animals seeking primal pleasures.

So they saved the intense coupling for only two or three times a year. And damned if Astrid wasn't going to make the most of it. Shifting her knees a little for better leverage, Astrid rolled her hips in long, deep motions to _feel_ Hiccup, fisting one hand in his thick hair and tugging to feel his hips buck up into her. Astrid moaned at the jolt of pleasure and Hiccup took the hint, thrusting up again and again to watch her thrash on his cock.

"Fuck you're hot like this Astrid."

"Take off your top."

Astrid managed to gasp out, wanting to look at him properly and Hiccup hurried to oblige, tugging off his dragon t-shirt and watching Astrid rake her hands down his bare chest. She met his thrusts, bouncing herself harder upon his cock until Hiccup had to grip her hips, sweat beading across his face and collarbones. Astrid growled impatiently, wanting to continue.

"Hi-iiicup!"

She whined, squeezing at his cock to try and get him moving.

"S-slow down or I'll come."

"Then it's round one to me, fuck me!"

Hiccup growled, reaching around to grope at her ass and move her in time with his thrusts. Astrid moaned in appreciation of him starting again, then fell to a steady stream of whimpers and half-choked whines when Hiccup, determined not to lose the first round of their "make the other one come first" game, pressed fingers between her thighs to strum across her clit.

"Fuck!"

"Close Astrid?"

She wanted to win but _fuck it_ Astrid needed to come. She could even the scores on the next time. Hiccup moved a little faster, deeper, knowing exactly what Astrid liked and what would make her a writhing wreck. Hel, it worked for her and with a last few quick strokes, Astrid was coming with a desperate cry muffled against his firm shoulder. Hiccup muttered something that sounded like " _finally"_ against her ear, undoubtedly reaching the same heights as she did soon after.

Astrid felt him soften and slide out of her, rolling off the condom to toss aside when Astrid slid off of his lap. He turned his head to kiss her, smirking as Astrid patted his shoulder like a proud uncle.

"Good job Haddock. One to you."

He chuckled, pulling up his bottoms so they didn't constrict his thighs freedom of movement and crawling on top of Astrid. His jacket managed to stop her bare skin from grating against the dry brush ground, and Hiccup's hands roamed beneath her skirt, hiking it up.

"Too sensitive?"

"Go easy. At first."

Hiccup nodded, kissing and nipping at her inner thigh before gentling his tongue over her hypersensitive clit. Even that sent lightning zipping along her every nerve, hands fisting in his hair and pulling up weeds and dead grass from the ground. Hiccup backed off, exploring the rest of the delicate skin and tasting her to his own satisfaction.

When Astrid could tolerate more, Hiccup didn't disappoint and suddenly she was glad he opted to take them a fair distance away. Nobody would hear her as she growled and moaned, see her as she bucked and writhed against his tongue. Only Hiccup bore witness to her feral twisting, craving his touch. His nails raked down her thigh, pain spiking as molten pleasure until she was trembling, close, desperate.

"Fucking love the way you taste Astrid."

Hiccup came up for air, his voice a feathery whisper of pure desire against her heated flesh. Before she could answer his words, Hiccup's tongue was spreading her open, lips sealing around her clit to suckle until Astrid thought she would lose her _mind._ His fingers pressed inside her, stroking at that hidden spot and she broke, spasming and quaking and making more noise than was sane but she couldn't help it. Pleasure crashed through her in waves, hips arching to chase the last few jolts until she fell, limp against the ground.

Kissing her thigh again, Hiccup wiped his face on his discarded t-shirt and slinked his way up her body. Astrid bit at his lips as they kissed, searching for a second - or maybe third - wind so she could roll them over and press into his renewed erection.

"Round two."

They rejoined the party an hour and a half later only looking a little worse for wear, several family members drunk and a couple already sleeping off food comas.

"Good walk you two?"

Someone quizzed, and Hiccup's twitching mouth said he was hiding the same smirk she was.

"Yeah, we just lost track of time out there. Any food left?"

As they scooped up some slightly burned hot dogs from the 'keep warm' part of the grill, Astrid could feel the residual ache of a damn good fuck as she sat down. The rest of the reunion passed by much better now her mood was hugely improved, and even annoying conversations about how she needed a husband, stable career and two point your kids were less annoying.

Hiccup hugged her goodbye in a perfectly socially acceptable manner, except for where he whispered in her ear.

"Until next time."

Astrid was already looking forward to it.

Hiccup wasn't winning _again._

-HTTYD-

 **This prompt has been half done for a while, and now it's done! Woo.**


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